Good Grief!
Ok I admit it...I've been struggling the last couple of weeks.Really in the pits. Why you ask? Did something horrible, dreadful, life threatening happen? No
Has some awful tragedy befallen you or your family? No, thank God ,No! So what is my problem?
Here is what I've learned ....very slowly...very, very slowly ...the last month.
I can take a lot. I can take something bad happening to me pretty darn well. My leaning in skills to the Lord...pretty stinkin' good when something is going on with me...BUT let it be to one of my kids....Good grief...I have a lot to learn.
Before I make this sound even worse than it was...this was not a huge deal in the span of a life time. But my daughters heart was breaking. Watching it..made me crazy. With a capitol C. Well Shelia...how is your daughter doing??? Here is the funny part...(not funny haha, but funny peculiar) she is doing much better than me. In fact, if I could choose, I don't think I'd take this particular trial from her. She has grown so much in her faith. She has leaned into the Lord. She is going though the fire and putting God as her number one, she and the Lord have built quite the Ebeneezer this last month.
So back to what I've learned...or am learning. I have a hard time turning over my kids to the Lord. Well...actually...I turn them over pretty quickly...but then....I snatch them back...and I turn them over...and I snatch them back. You get the picture. And on and on this last month has gone.
So I've decided this has been GOOD GRIEF. Who could possibly love my kids more than me?...of course my Lord. I know there are plenty of lessons for me...I'm still unpacking them. But the last month as it turns out has been GOOD GRIEF.
I'm so glad that my GOD is slow, kind and gentle with me...so glad HE is so patient. With His grace I will learn to put all my troubles at HIS feet...and quit tripping over my own.
5 comments:
Oh, me, too, my friend, me too.
My head knows that God will always do what is best but I don't always love his "big picture" viewpoint. I see the details and want him to change them. And yet, like you, when I look back and things are more in perspective, those hard times bring such growth.
"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."
Praying that you and your daughter both reap the promise of hope from this painful time.
thank you Karen...that has been one of the verses that my daughter has kept in front of her for the past month...funny how much i'm learning from her...thanks for the encouragement and the prayer!
It's a hard thing to know one of your children is suffering and all you can do is pray and "be there". We've learned that it all works out as God planned it. Prayers to you and your daughter:)
I will add a different "voice" to the comments, in as much as I am a Christian woman, yet childless.., I have been married to my precious husband for 27 years though, so I thank God that at least I was able to experience the joys of marriage!..
Having shared that little bit of introductory trivia, I will say that as anannyin the past and as an aunt who has had my 18 YEAR OLD nephew live with us for four months; also RECENTLY a sister who shared the heartache of a heart broken, daugter.., I feel for you~ YET IT'S APPARENT THAT YOU KNOW, (THOUGH IT'S HARD TO TRUST), THAT THE LORD IS THERE AND YOUR DAUGHTER IS GROWING DURING THESE DIFFICULT TIMES!..,
I'M GLAD THE LORD USED MY ART TO CHEER YOU, even if in a small, fleeting way!~ AS SOMETIMES, THOUGH THE LORD HAS BEEN SO GRACIOUS, I FEEL SO ALONE, SO "OTHER" AND AND SET APART FROM OTHERS, because I don't have children..,
BLESSINGS FROM SILKEN PURSE
I could write volumes about the hurts and heart breaks of three daughters. I know exactly how you feel and why you feel the way you do. I love your honesty and the way you open up your heart and share with us. I only wish I would have had the blogging world when I was in the thick of it all. Thank you for sharing.
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